Thursday No date

I aimed to send you this letter yesterday but was afraid to risk it am yet. I am almost crazy
to think of what has been done, what will be the end, I wonder it looks like it will kill M___
that is why I am hurt so bad to think of troubling her makes it harder on me. Everybody
will know this right away the one that read that was one that had stood by M.W. all the way
and of course he has lost confidence now. Oh I cant bear it dont seem like. Everybody will
be against me and believe all that has been told. Someone has told me was talking over the
phone after 12 o’clock the other night I will send this and if you get it, read it and burn and
call me up and ask if Bob Mogruss has called up and if he does tell him you will see him
on the day you will send a letter than I will know when you meet the M. Far away my sake
keep away from up here, I would say leave but that will bring up more talk. I dont know no
way out do you? How will I get that fine back to you? I cant write anymore. I still believe
you meant to help me and nat ruin me. Live rite and all will come rite someday the same
heart broken address your letter to Silar Nalley Cumming #9 care of me box 73 Hi is far
you and is true I will get it and open read and burn.

Well I received yours of the 5th 7th after prayers, tears, threats, and everything else, out
nat befare the contents was unknown to someone else. If I had done anything like I told
you all would have been well. Why did you ever go back over there after that Friday night
you knew things was wrong and whiskey was the cause of all the trouble. He hates it with
perfect hatred. You have broken peace between M___ and E. also and E. and me. And the
lord only knows how many more. I am ruined and you are the cause I am nat saying you
aimed to do it, but its done just the same and cant be undone. The best thing I know is far
you to keep away from up here any where or anytime. Now one thing I ask, dont you
blame M__ far she has nearly grieved herself to death, she dont eat nar sleep and is real
sick. And I dont know whether peace will ever be restored or nat. I dont think I slept over
30 min. last night. Yesterday was the darkest day of my life.I could nat bare it if it was nat
far M__ it nearly kills me to know I am the cause of her trouble far I always tried to live so
I could nat give her any trouble. Oh how can I ever live on so much trouble? You have
been honest in trying to help me, I believe but oh wide of the mark you have come. Now
dont you blame E. far if you had your wife at home and someone was coming around after
you had warned them that all was nat right and they would seek a chance to speak to her
in secret what would you do? More than he has I guess he did nat know but what that let
us to M_ and he could nat read it and under the circumstance we cant blame him. M__
never dreamed of anyone looking in the book until she had a chance to but they did and
we cant help it nor blame him. He told me he would nat say anything and that one that
read it promised nat too. Things are in a mess though , if you wont ever come back up
here all will get quiet after awhile I think. I still have confidence enough in you to believe
you wont ever say anything against me. M__ is grieving afraid you will try to ruin us but I
put her right on that far you. Wont so no such intentionally will you. While it looks like we
are ruined and you the cause you meant good all the time. You broke the friendship
between J.S. Dan me that is troubling me awful bad. Oh if you had nat come up there that
Friday night everything would have been right there is where you lost out with E. and if
you had nat gone back there drinking after that I think everything would have been alright.
You know I have begged you to let it alone and told you it caused only sorrow and you
have tried it long enough to know why you wont quit.??? I have prayed far you and will on
and hope you will quit befare it is too late. Now you know better than spend money in
politics like you did and dont blame anyone but self that is the worst part of it if you had
someone else to blame it would nat hurt so bad, would it? Well blame me if it will do you
any good. Say do you place any blame on me far the way things are? I dont feel I could
live if you did or if you was to lose confidence in me, and I went to the M.B. every m. far
a week thinking to find a letter but found none. That is too risky anyway. I will mail this
one but dont expect anather one. This must stop befare there is anymore trouble. You
can , you can mail me on the 20th, I will meet the mail and get it, after that dont expect
anything more.
OH! please live right and dont cause me anymore trouble, you wont will you? I will place
everything back to you when I get it dont be uneasy. Oh I am sorry things are in such a
mess but I cant help it. May god bless you and keep you from sin is my prayer thanking
you far the past fareness I remain as ever heart broken. M__ told you the truth she has nat
seen that letter.

November 1,1916
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