Dear old friend
I received your letter today and oh! How my heart did ache I am troubled so
bad I don't know what to do I am sorry you feel as you do about things. (or
me) What did I ever do to make you love me? Or you just talking surely you
don't care as much as you say you do. And besides you need nat care so much
far there is plenty as good as me and much better looking. I could nat sleep
from 1:30 this am if I had known as much then as now I guess I would have
stayed awake all night. I am sorry you did nat sleep Friday night I did nat
either but did S. night far the first night in nearly 3 years. I am almost
and will be if I don't get relief soon . what I can now what do you want me
to do? Please tell me everything you want me to anything that will relieve
my mind oh it nearly kills me to think that I am causing trouble I want to
bring joy instead of sorrow tell me what I can do that will bring joy to you?
I did nat tell you why I am going to Ala.. I have to uncles out there and
they said if I would go they would send me money to pay my way and also give
me a home if I did nat stay on here so you see I am nat farsaking you far
anather man and if it would be any
Consalation I will tell you there is " no other man" you are as
dear to me as any other one. Does that help your feelings any? You said when
I go, you are going, Please don't far people will say we are together if we
are 1000 miles apart. If I go I will come back sometime " if I don't
find anather man" and I don't guess I will far I am soon going to be
grey headed and wrinkled faced and nobody will nat love me then. I don't know
how I will get anather letter to you far we must nat let E. know anything
more he got mad about Smith and he says people are asking him about you and
me so we must quit letting him know anything you can depend on mother far
she knows and can keep it. I do wish you would by her cow if you can use her
a trade if you can it troubles me to see her in trouble. She is troubling
awful about you and me. I am sorry she knows but I never had a secret from
her. I can always depend on mother and she will tell you I never caused her
any trouble. No girl never had a better mother and she knows what it means
to love in vain. And I do too. Now you said you was better than you were 2
mo. Ago mabey you will be all right in a few mo. More oh please don't drink
quit doing bad and live right you can never hope far happiness as long as
you do as you do. You don't know what may happen if you would live far god
and try to help lead a last world to jesus. You said nat to cry about you
all, all the way you can keep me from it is to live right, and the thought
that I am to blame far your wrong doing will shorten my days and make what
I have unhappy. What did S. say about me I am scared about him I do wish he
would get back right with me but I am afraid he wont. Oh! Why was I ever harmed
anyway? I have caused nathing but trouble it looks like but god knows my heart
and I want to do the right thing always. Now folks are going to talk about
you being at mothers. They will say it was arranged befarehand and nathing
we might say would nat change it. C.A. watches you every time I think to see
if you stop there. At night you are passing you could put the letter in the
box and I will get it. Say cant you drop it in the office at cummings and
no one will be the wiser I will get it ok . I wish I could see you and you
was free to talk and there was no one watching I would love far you to tell
me everything you feel like telling me.
Have you seen C. H. yet? Say can you get him to cut their percent if I can
get a compromise? They are men and can make more money and I cant. But I want
you to get out of this someway befare I go crazy or die one. I thank you far
every kind thing you have done far me far I believe I know why you do it.
I am about out of paper and I better quit. Please live right I am praying
far you. By. By. As ever A______
I will right some more as it may be a long time befare you get anather one.
I sleep some
last night nat much though. My thumb is in bad shape this a.m. what is to
become of me I
dont know but god will take care of me. Mark is going to G. will send this
by him. I wish I could see you but cant any more now I do want you to live
right think of your four little
boys what will ever become of them with such example as you are setting far
them do you
think about it far you will have to answer far it remember the bible says
“ they that sow to
the flesh will of the flesh reap corruption” so be careful. I am nat
well at all do wish I could get out of trouble and will someday ( when I die).
Be good and you will have more
pleasure. You are killing yourself drinking candidate whiskey do please quit.
as ever Abaline