Sunday PM November 26, 1916

Poor old friend I wonder if you are alone with your thoughts as I am. I am wondering if
you have done as you told me to do bloted me out of memory if you think I have done that
you are sadly mistaken far I have thought of you every minute since 2 o’clock yesterday
AM when I was awake I dreamed of you and cant get you from my mind at all. I have tried
to hear you speak on the phone but cant I said I would nat write you again but I wanted to
tell you that I am nat heartless as you think me I know you think I dont appreciate any
thing you have done far me but I do but I cant accept your attentions and you in the
position you are and people saying things about us too. And you are going to farsake us all
are you? and seek pleasure far yourself well I guess nathing I would say would change
your mind but one thing I want to say is if I knew I had been the cause of you going and
leaving your children it would almost kill me. I have tried to do right and have hoped that I
might have had some influence over you far good and instead I have caused you to get
worse and now you are going away and leaving your poor little children to do the best they
can with out a father and mother how can you do it! You wont will you. What would keep
the S. board if you was gone? I guess I wont get any phone far I wont have the money but
others will want service. And I dont feel I can stay up here with out one but when I cant
call up to and you answer it dont-- oh well there is no use saying more far it looks like all
my friends will turn against me yet J.S. has intirly fursaken me I wrote to Wilbur but got no
answer so I am left far as he is concerned. I think J.S. got mad at you too they said he
cursed you because you would nat come on. I am sure he was convinced there was
something wrong with us and lost confidence in me that is why I said you was the cause. If
you had left when you called all would have been right maybey of coarse he was already
mad at me. I wish you would see him and see if you can get things write with him. You
said you would nat speak of me or my business to anyone I didn’t care far you doing
anything you can to help me so you dont do it in a way to cause talk I was counting on
you being able to help me in my trouble and believe you can have mare influence with
C.D. than anyone. Do you know why he was put of that trial? Some tell me its to try to
farce me to compromise do you think so? Can there be a sale till that years support is
settled? I hopenat. I have a cow and a phone till the sale. After I dont know about that and
it dont matter much what comes now I am going to be content with what god gives me but
let me tell you A.E. brought me some fresh meat last night I just had to cry over it “ I did
nat let him know it” that is the first thing they have ever done that they showed they
thought me human since I have been here alone. I am hoping and praying all will come rite.
If you will settle down and quit your badness and put me out of your mind only as the
“truest friend a man ever had” than I think I will get to where I can be happy. Oh! If I
could live to see you at Christmas I know that would make me as happy as I could be. But
I have some precious friends whom I feel will wait to long till there day of his mercy will be
past then how sad! Oh how sad! far their chances are all gone they will be crying “ lost at
last” when you knock on the door and you can nat enter in how you’ll wish you had lived a
Christmas true then you’ll think of what I say and the awfulness of sin ill be waiting there
far you and go where you will but one thing remember ill never farget you and although
you have caused me lots of trouble. I dont believe you meant to and would have shielded
me from everything if I had been in your power. If you ever do anything to make me loose
confidence in you dont think I will have anymore in a man. Write me just how you feel
toward me and what you intend doing and oh please dont tear up and leave on my account.
Than I will have to turn to J.E.C. if you get this ans. As soon as you did the other and ill
get it o.k. one mo. till xmas and 4 days till thanksgiving guess no one will think of me. be
good as ever.
A______